Food prices are skyrocketing these days for normal Americans.   And for arugula-organic-free-range slaves like me, sticker shock is becoming a cardiac arrest.  So I’ve found a few creative ways to cut food costs at the supermarket.  And if done right, they won’t get you banned for life from your favorite store.
1)    Look for mold in the produce aisle.  While others look to make sure a box of strawberries is mold-free, I go for the ones with mold.  Then, after I’ve eaten all the good ones that day, I return the …

A carefully executed couch surfing experience can provide a person with weeks, months and possibly years of food, lodging, entertainment and, done right, romance.
There are three basic approaches to the task of getting onto the couch or into a spare room.
1. Just Got Thrown out: This could be from a parent’s house, a girlfriend/boyfriend, stale roommate situation, or through an angry landlord. The crux of this approach (truthful or not) is that you are in a bind and need a temporary favor.
2. Just Passing Through: Won’t be here …

At a group dinner in a restaurant, the Schnorrer knows how to handle himself He makes sure to be the last one to contribute to the bill once it comes. This is the equivalent of being the big blind in poker; being in the seat of power. He has gleaned from life experience that the last one who pays the bill is the one to count the money pile. More often than not, people over contribute. The $18 owed, turns into $20, the …

Dear Schnorrer,
Every Friday night I have dinner with my friend Elizabeth. Although we maintain a platonic friendship, ever the gentlemen, I always pick up the tab. However, last Friday something unusual happened. Elizabeth insisted that we both order the Lobster (the most expensive entrée on the menu). When I asked why, she told me not to worry, as she would be taking care of the bill. This was a good enough explanation for me, so I obliged. But, later on that night Elizabeth uncharacteristically began flirting with me. When I …

Dear Schnorrer,
Living with a family of schnorring men (I have 4 sons), there is one schnorr that drives me nuts.  Whenever I make or buy a dessert pie, someone thinks they are so smart, and eats filling thinking that I won’t notice that pie has been eaten since the crust is still intact. Your responses are very clever, so I hope you can help here.
Thanks,
Barbara
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Dear Barbara:
Thanks for putting your faith in The Schnorrer.  Schnorring is an action that which falls out of the field of accepted norms. What you describe …

An entire sub-specialty in advanced schnorring studies revolves around techniques for eating the lion’s share of the food at restaurants while paying the gazelle’s share of the bill. But an alternative tactic relies on the intricate mathematics of check-splitting and the fair-minded equality of your dining compatriots. It also relies on timing.
Arrive at the restaurant early and head straight to the bar. Load up on drinks and appetizers. If you’re feeling daring, buy an appetizer to go and stuff it out of sight in your bag. When the rest of …

The Suggested Donation Event is a baited operation that has the potential of exposing a schnorrer’s motives, and, in turn, damaging their reputation.
A schnorrer with a bad reputation is called a Mooch, and, say it with me, once a mooch, always a mooch! After an undesirable exposure, the schnorrer must uproot, say farewell, and find a new habitat to start anew. Humans are an unforgiving bunch.
If you find yourself drawn to a Suggested Donation Event, I strongly advise you to consider the following:
1.)   Either have the Suggested Amount of Donation …

Dear Schnorrer,
I live off campus with a bunch of my fraternity brothers.  We order Chinese food every once in a while.  Tom usually orders the food.  A couple of days ago, Tom was studying so I ordered the food.  When the food arrived we got a complimentary can of soda as well as dumplings for ordering a certain dollar amount.  It turns out that Tom has been drinking the free soda and claiming that he’s the one who ordered the dumplings as his dinner……….he is essentially getting a free meal …

To say the corporation is the schnorrer’s best friend may seem a truism hardly worth elaborating. Its customer-is-always-right attitude and its affinity for “writeoffs” are a godsend to the freeloader. But to reach the large bills in companies’ ample wallets, the schnorrer knows you have to move beyond the storefront to the generous bureaucratic bosom that is the Customer Service Department. 
The schnorrer is always on the lookout for imperfections and irregularities in the products he buys. These flaws do not have to be major–a slightly curved baseball bat, a pair …