Dear Schnorrer,
Every Friday night I have dinner with my friend Elizabeth. Although we maintain a platonic friendship, ever the gentlemen, I always pick up the tab. However, last Friday something unusual happened. Elizabeth insisted that we both order the Lobster (the most expensive entrée on the menu). When I asked why, she told me not to worry, as she would be taking care of the bill. This was a good enough explanation for me, so I obliged. But, later on that night Elizabeth uncharacteristically began flirting with me. When I …

You got this one; I get the next one. No, you get the . . . I’ll get . . . you get—STOP!
Next time you’re out with a friend or acquaintance leap at the first opportunity to treat them to a cup of coffee or a stale muffin from the day-old bin beside the register. In the politics of You Buy This, I Buy That, it’s important to establish that you’re neither a mooch nor a schnorr. Although of course, you’re both. But you must first establish yourself as generous, …