Ask the Schnorrer, Headline »

[ Written By : The Schnorrer | Jan 26, 2011 ]Tell-a-Friend Tell-a-Friend Print This Post Print This Post
Delivery Scam

Dear Schnorrer,
I live off campus with a bunch of my fraternity brothers.  We order Chinese food every once in a while.  Tom usually orders the food.  A couple of days ago, Tom was studying so I ordered the food.  When the food arrived we got a complimentary can of soda as well as dumplings for ordering a certain dollar amount.  It turns out that Tom has been drinking the free soda and claiming that he’s the one who ordered the dumplings as his dinner……….he is essentially getting a free meal …

Featured, Schnorring »

[ Written By : Guest | Jan 24, 2011 ]Tell-a-Friend Tell-a-Friend Print This Post Print This Post
Craigslist – To Mooch or not to Mooch is the best internet site too mooch off of since slice bread. Don’t have enough money for a hair cut, dye or perm? Then go on the “Free” section of Craigslist where you can be a ‘head model’ – an armature beautician experiment for a grade. Want a free tattoo? Go on Craigslist. There are many tattoo artists want to try a new style of art or build up their portfolio for their businesses. Looking for a (used) leather couch, table, and baby crap? It’s on Craigslist. It’s amazing …

Headline, Schnorring »

[ Written By : Guest | Jan 21, 2011 ]Tell-a-Friend Tell-a-Friend Print This Post Print This Post
5 Reasons to Befriend a College Student

Let’s face it: you and your crew of fellow college grads are over frat house keggers, having traded them in for rooftop bars. Yet despite how, crude, obnoxious, and clueless about the “real” work you find college kids-and trust me, if you’re still attending you’ll share this sentiment once you graduate- the benefits of adopting one are plentiful. Preferably, your student will be under the age of 21; that way, assuming you are of age, your ability to obtain alcohol legally will have him at your mercy. Although constantly being …


[ Written By : The Schnorrer | Jan 19, 2011 ]Tell-a-Friend Tell-a-Friend Print This Post Print This Post
Destination Weddings

Dear Schnorrer,
My brother and his fiance are planning a destination wedding in  Costa Rica. They are expecting 50 guests to attend. However, they  have informed me that their guest list is 375 people.  I think this is inappropriate, since most of these people will not  be able to make the trip. The list  includes elderly relatives who  are unable to travel. I admit to having no experience with  destination weddings. Is this an acceptable practice?
Dear Mildred:
Not only is this an acceptible practice, but it as an absolutely  brilliant strategy for …

Headline, Schnorring »

[ Written By : Guest | Jan 17, 2011 ]Tell-a-Friend Tell-a-Friend Print This Post Print This Post
Why You Need to Learn To Cry

Sorry, boys… but this one’s for the ladies, and no, girls, it doesn’t have anything to do with showing a bit of cleavage (though I’ve got nothing against worming your way into a free drink with a well-placed neckline). I’m talking about brushing up on your acting skills, more specifically, crying.
Crying can get you out of a lot of little problems—I’ve been known to get a due date or two extended by shedding a few tears—but crying can also be quite useful in avoiding monetary missteps and keeping a few …


[ Written By : The Schnorrer | Jan 11, 2011 ]Tell-a-Friend Tell-a-Friend Print This Post Print This Post
The Revenge of the Schnorrer

Recently, The Schnorrer was sitting in a subway car, minding his own business, looking at his fellow riders and marvelling at the great variety of humanity created by the Almighty.  A burly man got on the train and sat next to The Schnorrer.  He didn’t just sit, however.  He spread his legs and squirmed, forcing The Schnorrer to sit with his legs tightly touching one another, the rest of his body positioned like a West Point Plebe at attention. Clearly The Schnorrer was being out -manuevered by a space schnorrer, …

Headline, Schnorring »

[ Written By : Guest | Jan 10, 2011 ]Tell-a-Friend Tell-a-Friend Print This Post Print This Post
Taking the cost out of coffee

If your friends are always dragging you to Starbucks for $5 venti chai lattes, you can quench your thirst without bleeding Lincolns. At the coffee shop, the schnorrer avoids caffeine in order to avoid paying. Most coffee shops offer complementary coffee accouterments: milk, half and half, sugar, cocoa powder, cinnamon, etc. The schnorrer knows that these are the recombinant elements of a delectable drink. Surreptitiously grab an empty cup and then head over to the coffee primping station. Start with the cocoa powder, unscrewing the lid to knock a few tablespoons …

Editors' Choice, Featured, Schnorring »

[ Written By : Guest | Jan 5, 2011 ]Tell-a-Friend Tell-a-Friend Print This Post Print This Post
Customer Service Department:Corporate Schnorrer

To say the corporation is the schnorrer’s best friend may seem a truism hardly worth elaborating. Its customer-is-always-right attitude and its affinity for “writeoffs” are a godsend to the freeloader. But to reach the large bills in companies’ ample wallets, the schnorrer knows you have to move beyond the storefront to the generous bureaucratic bosom that is the Customer Service Department. 
The schnorrer is always on the lookout for imperfections and irregularities in the products he buys. These flaws do not have to be major–a slightly curved baseball bat, a pair …

Ask the Schnorrer, Featured »

[ Written By : The Schnorrer | Jan 3, 2011 ]Tell-a-Friend Tell-a-Friend Print This Post Print This Post
When the Schnorrer says:”HELLO!”

Dear Schnorrer:
I went on a dinner date last night with this guy who I thought was a real mensch.. When the bill came, I noticed that the waiter had accidentally given us the wrong bill–it was half the price it should have been.  Before I could say a word, my date paid the bill and put on his jacket to leave.
What are you thoughts about this incident.  Should I see this guy again?
Dear Rachel:
The scenario you described exemplifies one of the main principles of schnorring–CARPE SCHNORRUM–seize the opportunity to schnorr
When …