In a recession, we all need to make sacrifices, but come Hell or high water, I’m hanging onto my Friday nights out like those still hanging onto the glimmering hope of the Democrats digging us out of this mess. Until then, I choose sacrifices of a different breed. Girls, leave your hangups at the door: tonight, you’re drinking for free.
1. The Sad Bartender
It’s hard to believe, but some bartenders don’t think they’re “all that.” The best clubs may have bartenders that look like Abercrombie models, but hit up some of …

When the Schnorrer has guests over, he knows that there is no better way to impress them than with top shelf liquor.  A couple weeks before the gathering, the schnorrer walks into some local bars asking for empty bottles from the previous night, informing them that he provides the raw material for fertility clinics.  After the Schnorrer snags some top shelf bottles, the Kettle One, Patron, or Blue Label, he heads to the local liquor store to buy the bottom shelf versions of the the alcohol all-stars.   He then …

Go to a Ladies’ Night!  Try to find ones your female friends don’t know about.  Then say you want to take them out to a place where they drink for free.  That’s when you ask them to buy you a couple rounds.  If you combine that with a couple of other tricks I’ve tought you, you’ll be in pretty good shape.  If you have 3 or 4 ladies with you, and they each buy you a round (or two) you’re sitting pretty on a free night of drinking.

Not tipping a dollar every time you order makes you seem cheap.  However, if 5 drinks cost you $25, nobody will be too upset if you only tip $4, that’s 16%.  If you’re buying $2 cans of PBR (most bars in Brooklyn), then 5 drinks cost $10 and nobody’s going to be upset if you don’t tip $5 on that particular tab.  Just be reasonable. 
A friend of mine was in New York and was at a place serving $11 drinks.  When he only tipped a dollar they kicked him out …

A Martini-type drink often has almost twice as much liquor as a mixed drink.  However, they are also often the same price.  If you’re really not in the mood for Rheingold and don’t feel comfortable bringing in a flask, then this is an option you need to consider.

The Schnorrer knows that going out drinking with his friends can be a very expensive proposition. It is is ingrained in his conscience that the best defense is a good offense so he sets the tone for the night:   As soon as he and his goombas walk into the bar, he announces that he is going to have a beer and that he insists on getting “the first round”.  With this gambit, he  establishes that each of his drinking buddies will be picking up the tab for a round, while …

Tough it up, and drink away from your favorite brand for a bit if they don’t have it on tap.  Draughts are always cheaper unless they’re running a $2 or $3 a bottle special.

Some bartenders might think you’re wasting their time, but if you know there are specials, don’t be afraid to ask what they are. You’d be surprised what specials aren’t even advertised.  There’s been a few times where because of a misunderstanding I ordered something I thought was included in the special but wasn’t. 
Likewise, stick with well liquors.  If you’re mixing anyway, it doesn’t really matter.  Some bartenders will try to up-sell.  If you order a Gin and Tonic, they’ll come back with “Bombay or Tangueray?”.  That DOES NOT mean those …

If you live in New York City, you have no excuse to be ignorant of the fact of where you can get cheap shots and completely free drinks on your birthday.  Know that all-you-can-drink for twenty dollars for two hours isn’t that great a deal.  A 2 for 1 special that lasts all night is going to pay off more, as grabbing $5 drinks in 2 hours is near impossible in a crowded bar.  If you are paying a cover, then you shouldn’t be paying for drinks. 
Also, just because it’s …