Articles in Category: THE SCHNORRER


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[ Written By : The Schnorrer | Apr 4, 2011 ]Tell-a-Friend Tell-a-Friend Print This Post Print This Post
The Schnorrer Always Pays Last

At a group dinner in a restaurant, the Schnorrer knows how to handle himself He makes sure to be the last one to contribute to the bill once it comes. This is the equivalent of being the big blind in poker; being in the seat of power. He has gleaned from life experience that the [...]

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[ Written By : The Schnorrer | Feb 17, 2011 ]Tell-a-Friend Tell-a-Friend Print This Post Print This Post
“Beauty is in the Eye” says The Schnorrer

When the Schnorrer goes to an ice cream emporium, he instinctively understands that it may be worth his while to forgo his turn in line in order to be served by the plumpest counter person in the store.  The Schnorrer has gleaned from life experience that a chubby person serves ice cream to others as [...]

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[ Written By : The Schnorrer | Feb 7, 2011 ]Tell-a-Friend Tell-a-Friend Print This Post Print This Post
Rate Increase Means Rate Decrease

Do you cringe when you get that Trojan horse of a letter from your cable company which starts by telling you how honored they are to serve you.  You know what’s coming next as surely as heart burn follows jalapenos…..a rate increase.  While most look at this as a harbinger of gloom, the Schnorrer looks [...]

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[ Written By : The Schnorrer | Jan 19, 2011 ]Tell-a-Friend Tell-a-Friend Print This Post Print This Post
Destination Weddings

Dear Schnorrer, My brother and his fiance are planning a destination wedding in  Costa Rica. They are expecting 50 guests to attend. However, they  have informed me that their guest list is 375 people.  I think this is inappropriate, since most of these people will not  be able to make the trip. The list  includes [...]

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[ Written By : The Schnorrer | Jan 11, 2011 ]Tell-a-Friend Tell-a-Friend Print This Post Print This Post
The Revenge of the Schnorrer

Recently, The Schnorrer was sitting in a subway car, minding his own business, looking at his fellow riders and marvelling at the great variety of humanity created by the Almighty.  A burly man got on the train and sat next to The Schnorrer.  He didn’t just sit, however.  He spread his legs and squirmed, forcing [...]

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[ Written By : The Schnorrer | Dec 23, 2010 ]Tell-a-Friend Tell-a-Friend Print This Post Print This Post
Putting The More In Smorgasbord

The Schnorrer’s Ten Commandments of Eating at a Smorgasbord 1– At the roast beef, turkey and pastrami carving board station, thou shalt always ask for more than one slice.  2– When thou hast finished eating from your little cocktail plate, which now looketh disgusting from the fast-cngealing sauces, don’t go out of your way to [...]

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[ Written By : The Schnorrer | Dec 9, 2010 ]Tell-a-Friend Tell-a-Friend Print This Post Print This Post
The Birth of a Schnorrer

Everyone is telling the Schnorrer these days about the resurgence of haggling: How one reader uses haggling to save big bucks How to haggle You can negotiate anything Negotiate once, save thousands every year How I cut my Comcast cable bill by 33% (without losing any service)  [The Washington Post: In tough economic times, shoppers [...]

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[ Written By : The Schnorrer | Nov 25, 2010 ]Tell-a-Friend Tell-a-Friend Print This Post Print This Post
“Make Room For Leftovers” says The Schnorrer

When throwing a party, The Schnorrer frontloads the refreshments presented to his guests with potato chips, potato puffs, pretzels, salsa and corn chips, peanuts and carob.  He offers this wide assortment of relatively cheap starches knowing that his guests will fill up on these, especially when mixed with bloat-inducing beer and soda.  He sits back [...]

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[ Written By : The Schnorrer | Nov 22, 2010 ]Tell-a-Friend Tell-a-Friend Print This Post Print This Post
Happy Birthday to You!

The Schnorrer conscientiously records the birthdays of each and every one of his co-workers.  He then makes sure that his boss knows when each of these days fall.  The boss, interested in the moral of the workplace, will usually spring for a celebratory cake.  This means that the Schnorrer is in for a slice of [...]