Recently, The Schnorrer was sitting in a subway car, minding his own business, looking at his fellow riders and marvelling at the great variety of humanity created by the Almighty.  A burly man got on the train and sat next to The Schnorrer.  He didn’t just sit, however.  He spread his legs and squirmed, forcing The Schnorrer to sit with his legs tightly touching one another, the rest of his body positioned like a West Point Plebe at attention. Clearly The Schnorrer was being out -manuevered by a space schnorrer, a common subway predator. Since the man was a good six inches taller and 100 pounds heavier, the Schnorrer could not physically outmaneuver him.

But he could and did do the following:  He bided his time until he saw a “special” passenger stand next to him, a 250 pound woman with tree trunk legs.
He quickly jumped up and said:  “Madame, would you care to sit down?”   “Yes, thank you,” she replied, and sat down next to the space schnorrer.  Really, this description doesn’t do justice to that moment:  She sat on top of the poor schmuck.  After the space schnorrer was folded into his seat, a mariachi band strolled by.
Although this was completely alien to his nature, The Schnorrer gave the Latino combo a dollar.